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wonders never cease

Nick Offerman Can Canoe, Can You?

Friday, May 20, 2016

The sunshine spilling over our waterlogged metropolis is such a welcome sight today. Alas, it seems to be only dropping by for a quick visit and will be replaced by a few days more of grey skies and gross rain. This will undoubtedly put a damper on your big plans for the weekend, so we thought we'd turn you on to a product that might be of some interest to you.

Long before our pal Nick Offerman became a best-selling author of multiple books, and even before he was cast as Ron Swanson, the hilarious libertarian director of Pawnee, Indiana's Parks and Recreation, he was a struggling actor and accomplished woodworker. He made ends meet between acting gigs by building sets for theatrical productions and crafting furniture. At one point, he found himself with time to kill in NYC. Being the industrious fellow he is, he decided to use his time to craft a canoe by hand. He rented a vacant workshop in Red Hook and contacted the good people of Bear Mountain Boats to procure a copy of their top notch How To Guide to Canoecraft. They convinced Nick to film the process with his pal Jimmy Diresta and create a how-to DVD to accompany the book.

The rest is canoecraft history. 

Given this apparently endless rainy season and global-warming-induced rising sea levels, we think we would all be better off with our own canoe. We suggest that the craftier among us roll up our sleeves and get to work creating a fleet of beautiful hand-crafted canoes. Since they probably only take a few (hundred) hours to construct, we can test them out this weekend when Rock Creek jumps its banks. If they prove themselves seaworthy, we can band together and start to gather the animals in pairs.

We've included a few pics of Nick hard at work to motivate you (and convince the skeptics among you).

For those of you allergic to sawdust, if you survive the flooding, you can join us later this summer as we enjoy the comedy styling of Mr. Offerman and his talented wife, Megan Mullally, when they bring their acclaimed Summer of 69: No Apostrophe show to the Warner Theater on August 19th. We'll even swing by and pick you up in our awesome canoes if it hasn't stopped raining by then. 

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wonders never cease