wonders never cease
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
TUESDAY, JULY 20th, 2010a note on mosquitos (or, the bane of tara's existence).
Now, anyone who knows me knows that dusk in July is not charming and full of magical summer-time wonder and fireflies and unicorns. It is, instead, the time of day when the unbearably hot air is filled with those teeny tiny insects of torture, mosquitoes. They're fast and sneaky, and they LOVE me. Unfortunately, there's little to be done, lest I traipse around like Emily Dickinson in head-to-toe white with gloves and tights and sensible shoes. So to the internet I turn (as I do every year), in the hopes that someone has posted a brilliant new remedy to the massive welts that are slowly taking over my exposed skin. Here are this summer's offerings:
+ Slice a garlic clove in half and rub the flesh onto the mosquito bite. Itching should be relieved immediately. Also file under "vampire protection."
+ Treat the offending itch with (what appears to be) any old thing in your kitchen. Variously qualified folks (doctors, homeopaths, blog-commenters) suggest rubbing yourself with apple cider vinegar, lime juice, epsom salts, baking soda, meat tenderizer, or Pinesol. Yes, Pinesol. (At least the lime could be used to stave off scurvy.)
+ If you'd rather not douse yourself with a household cleaner, try calamine lotion. It soothes the itch and leaves a pretty pink splotch, to boot!
+ Prevention is the ultimate name of the game, so check out the options at your local drugstore. You could always choose the natural path. One very serious camping blog suggests draping a fern frond over your head because mosquitoes don't like to feel trapped while feeding. So that's an option. You know, to walk around town with a plant on your head.
Ultimately, there's not much you can do, but perhaps you have a secret remedy that you'd like to add to the comments. I would suggest that you just stay inside, but the mosquitoes will still find you. And then you'd miss the fireflies and unicorns, I suppose.